Protecting Your Children's Financial Future

Advisor in Your Corner with Alex Weinberger

Protecting Your Children's Financial Future in a Divorce: College, 529s, and Support That Survives

Season 1, Episode 11

Introduction

Narrator: Divorce is one of the most financially complex events a person can face. The decisions made during this process can shape the next chapter of a life for decades.

Welcome to Advisor in Your Corner. The podcast for individuals navigating the financial realities of divorce in California, and for the attorneys, mediators, therapists, and coaches who support them.

Your host is Alex Weinberger, a Certified Financial Planner Professional and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Through his firm, Marriage Financial Solutions, Alex consults directly with clients on the financial side of divorce, and the firm welcomes engagements from listeners and from the professionals who serve them.

Bringing clarity to the questions that matter the most to you, without the jargon.

This is Advisor in Your Corner.

The Fear No One Says Out Loud

Alex Weinberger: There's a part of every divorce that nobody fights over in a courtroom, and yet it's the thing I hear the most worry about when the door closes and it's just the two of us talking. Not custody. Not the house. The kids. Specifically, the money behind the life you want for them. Whether there will be enough for college. What happens to the account you've been building for years. And the quiet fear almost no one says out loud, that if something happens to their father, the support holding everything together just stops.

Here's what I want you to know going in. Some of what you assume is already protected for your children is not automatic. The law does not do it for you. It has to be built into your settlement, on purpose, while the settlement is still open. And once the ink is dry, some of these doors are much harder to open. So let's walk through the ones that matter most, calmly, so you know exactly what to ask for.

Today I want to cover four things. The surprising truth about who pays for college in California, which catches almost everyone off guard. What happens to the college savings you already have once there are two households instead of one. The difference between the kinds of accounts you might have set up for your children, because they are not the same. And the piece I almost never hear people raise on their own, what happens to child support and spousal support if the paying parent dies, and how to make sure it does not vanish with them.

The College Surprise in California

Alex Weinberger: Let's start with college, because the rule in California surprises nearly everyone.

Here is the reality. In California, child support ends when your child turns eighteen, or nineteen if they are still a full time high school student and not supporting themselves. And unlike about a third of the states in this country, California courts generally will not order a parent to pay for college at all. Not tuition, not room and board, none of it. The obligation simply ends when your child reaches adulthood, whether or not they are about to start their freshman year.

Sit with that for a second, because it runs against what most people assume. Many parents walk into a divorce believing college is somehow covered, that the court will make sure their child's education is paid for. In California, it will not. If college matters to you, and for the families I work with it almost always does, it cannot be left to chance or to good intentions. It has to be negotiated into your agreement and written down.

The good news is that you are completely free to agree to it. California law specifically preserves your right to build college support into your settlement. And when it is written into your agreement and approved by the court, it becomes enforceable, just like any other term. So the question is not whether college can be covered. It is whether you thought to put it in writing before the case closed. The drafting itself belongs with your attorney, but you are the one who has to know to raise it.

And a good college provision does more than say the word college. It can spell out how much, whether there is a cap tied to the cost of a public university, how tuition and housing and books are handled, and the practical questions that cause fights later, like what happens with a gap year, or study abroad, or a child who changes schools. The more specific it is now, the fewer painful surprises there are when your child is eighteen and the emotions are high. Your attorney can draft it well, but only if it is on the list of things you asked to protect.

And timing is everything here. While the settlement is still open, college is one more item on the table, negotiated with everything else in view and with leverage you actually have. After the case closes, it is gone as a default, and persuading the other parent to agree to it later, when they have no obligation to, is a much steeper hill. This is the window, and it does not reopen on its own.

What Happens to the College Fund

Alex Weinberger: Now let's talk about the college money you may already have, because this is where I see real value quietly slip away.

Many families have been saving in a 529 plan, the tax advantaged account built for education. The money grows without being taxed along the way, and it comes out free of tax when it is spent on qualified education costs. It is a wonderful tool. But here is the part that matters in a divorce. A 529 has one owner, and the owner controls it. Not the child. The owner can change the beneficiary, can decide how it is invested, and can even pull the money out entirely, taxes and a penalty aside. So when a marriage ends, the question of who owns and controls that account is not a technicality. It is control over your child's college fund.

I have seen accounts that both parents thought of as the kids' money turn out to be controlled entirely by one of them, with the other having no say and no visibility at all. That is why your settlement should address the 529 directly. Who owns it going forward. Whether the money is locked in for the children rather than redirected. Whether you get statements and some form of shared oversight. These are things that can be built into the agreement, and they are far easier to secure now than to claw back later. The legal mechanics are your attorney's to handle. Knowing to protect the account is yours.

There is one more wrinkle worth knowing, because it can affect real dollars in financial aid. When your child applies for federal financial aid, the application looks primarily at the finances of the custodial parent, the one the child lives with most of the time. Which parent that is, and who owns the 529, can change how much aid your child qualifies for. It is worth having someone look at that math before it is locked in, rather than discovering it during your child's senior year of high school.

Knowing Which Account Is Which

Alex Weinberger: While we are on accounts, let me draw one distinction that trips people up, because not every account you set up for a child works the same way.

Some families have a custodial account for a child, money that was given to the child under the law that governs gifts to minors. Here is the key difference. Money in a custodial account already belongs to the child. It was an irrevocable gift. An adult manages it as custodian until the child reaches adulthood, and then it becomes the child's outright, to do with as they wish. That is very different from a 529, which the owner still controls and can redirect. So part of getting organized is simply knowing which kind of account each one is, because it changes who controls the money, and when it stops being anyone's decision but your child's. If you are not sure which is which, that is exactly the kind of thing to sort out before you sign anything.

If the Paying Parent Dies

Alex Weinberger: Now to the piece I most want you to hear, because it is the one almost no one raises on their own, and it is the one that can quietly protect everything else.

Think about the support that is meant to hold your family steady after the divorce. Child support for the years until your children are grown. Spousal support, if you are receiving it. You are counting on that stream. Your budget, your children's stability, the roof over their heads, all of it may lean on those payments arriving.

Here is what you need to know. Both child support and spousal support generally end when the paying parent dies. They do not pass on. They do not come out of an estate automatically. The stream you are relying on for years can simply stop, overnight, at the worst imaginable time, when your children have also just lost a parent.

This is not meant to frighten you. It is meant to point you at the fix, because there is a good one. California law specifically allows a court to require the paying spouse to maintain life insurance on their own life for the benefit of the supported spouse and children, so that you are not left without means of support if they die. The law lets a court do the same to secure child support. And even when a judge does not order it, it is something you can negotiate directly into your settlement. In many cases it is one of the most important protections a family can put in place, and it costs a small fraction of what it secures.

The financial lens on doing it well comes down to a few things. The amount of insurance should track the support it is replacing, enough to cover what would still be owed if the worst happened, and it can even step down over time as the obligation shrinks and the children grow. Who owns the policy and who pays the premiums should be spelled out, so it does not lapse quietly. And you can ask to be named as an irrevocable beneficiary, which simply means the paying spouse cannot remove you or change the amount without your consent. That last point matters more than it sounds, because a policy you cannot see and cannot control is a promise, not a protection.

Let me show you how this plays out, with the details changed. Names and identifying details have been changed for client privacy.

Rachel and Daniel had two children, still in grade school, when they divorced. Daniel was the higher earner, and the settlement had him paying both child support and spousal support for years to come. On paper, Rachel was provided for. What almost went unaddressed was the simplest, hardest question. What if Daniel died before any of it was finished. There was no life insurance securing the support, which meant that if he passed, the payments Rachel and the children depended on would have ended with him. It was not a matter of anyone acting in bad faith. It simply had not come up. Once it did, a policy sized to the remaining support, with Rachel named as an irrevocable beneficiary, turned a fragile promise into something solid. The point of Rachel's story is not the policy itself. It is that the single most important protection for her children was the one nobody had thought to ask for, until someone did.

The Beneficiary Trap

Alex Weinberger: That story points at one more thing worth naming, because it causes real damage and it is entirely avoidable. Beneficiary designations.

Life insurance policies and retirement accounts do not pass through your will. They pass directly to whoever is named as the beneficiary on file. Which means if your former spouse is still listed as the beneficiary on a policy or a retirement account after your divorce, they may receive that money when you die, no matter what your divorce decree says. Once your divorce is final, updating those designations is one of the most important and most overlooked tasks on the list. The exception, of course, is any policy you are required to keep in place to secure support. Those stay exactly as agreed.

And if you want a policy or an account to benefit your children directly, here is a trap to avoid. Do not simply name a minor child as the beneficiary. In California a minor cannot receive that money directly, so naming them can send the payout into a court process to appoint someone to manage it, which means delay and expense at the worst possible moment. The cleaner path is to name a custodian to receive it for the child, or to have it paid into a trust set up for them. It is a small piece of paperwork that makes an enormous difference in whether the money actually reaches your children the way you intended.

The Questions to Ask, and What Comes After

Alex Weinberger: So what do you do with all of this. You do not need to become an expert in any of it. You need to make sure the right protections are written in while the settlement is still open, and that comes down to a handful of questions.

Is college actually addressed in our agreement, or will support simply end when the children turn eighteen. Who owns and controls the 529, and is it protected for the children rather than left to one parent's discretion. Is the support I am counting on secured with life insurance, for enough, and for long enough. And are the beneficiary designations going to be updated, with the right structure in place so that money meant for minor children actually reaches them. Ask those four, and you have covered the ground that most often gets missed.

And then there is the part that comes after the settlement is signed. The college accounts, the insurance, the support, and your own financial life all have to work together as one plan, and that coordination is its own kind of work. That is the moment many people realize they want a team of their own, independent, fee only fiduciary guidance whose single job is to serve your interests, and your children's, going forward. Naming that moment is not a sales pitch. It is just where this road leads once the dividing is done and the building begins.

Let me speak to the feeling that may be building as you listen to all of this. It can sound like a lot, like one more list of things you are somehow supposed to already know, on top of everything else you are carrying right now. You are not supposed to already know it. Almost no one does, and the people on the other side of the table often don't either. You do not have to hold all of it in your head. You have to hold onto one idea, that your children's future is worth protecting on purpose rather than by luck, and then let the right people help you put each protection in place. Knowing to ask is the whole job, and you are doing it right now, just by listening.

So let me leave you with the one idea I most want to stay with you.

Your children's financial future is the thing you most want protected, and it is also the thing most likely to be left to chance, precisely because the law does not do it for you automatically. College is not covered unless you write it in. The college fund is only as safe as the terms around it. And the support holding your family together can vanish with the person paying it unless you secure it. None of that is meant to scare you. It is meant to remind you that these are decisions, not accidents, and right now, while the settlement is still open, you are in the strongest position you will ever be in to make them come out right. You do not have to carry the details. You just have to ask the questions, and make sure the people helping you write the protections in. That is how you make sure they are covered.

Closing and disclosures

Narrator: Thank you for listening to Advisor in Your Corner.

If today's conversation raised questions about your own situation, or a client's, Alex Weinberger and the team at Marriage Financial Solutions are available to help.

They work directly with individuals navigating divorce, and alongside the attorneys, mediators, therapists, and coaches who support them.

Every engagement is handled with the discretion, rigor, and independence the moment calls for.

To learn more or get in touch, visit marriagefinancial.com.

If this podcast has been useful to you, please share it with someone who could benefit, and subscribe wherever you listen.

This has been Advisor in Your Corner. We'll see you next episode.

The information and opinions presented in this podcast, including the views of guests not affiliated with Marriage Financial Solutions, is for general informational and educational purposes only, and should not be considered personalized financial, tax, or legal advice.

Marriage Financial Solutions does not provide advice regarding securities, or the advisability of investing in securities.

Marriage Financial Solutions is affiliated with Weinberger Asset Management (wamasset.com), an SEC registered investment adviser, and may refer listeners to Weinberger Asset Management when investment advisory services are appropriate. However, individuals are not obligated to use the services of Weinberger Asset Management.